I scheduled my appointment for last night. This particular chiropractic office was located in a strip mall on James Island. Upon entering the office, I was immediately confronted with a giant framed picture of the chiropractor shaking hands with Arnold Schwarzenegger. This was a little odd, in my opinion, but I figured, "Hey, if this guy's good enough for the Governator, he's good enough for me."
The next thing I noticed, were these two tiki heads sitting on the reception desk with flowers floating in their water-filled open skulls. One was blue and glittery, while the other was more traditional looking. There was a sign advertising them as "Custom-made tiki heads individually numbered and signed by Dr. Smith. Only $39 each!" What a steal!
After fighting the urge to purchase one of these Hawaiian keepsakes, I filled out some forms and was led into a little room. Here I watched a video of various patient testimonials. It was great. The video quality made it apparent that the video was shot by a midget with a shaky hand. The tag line at the end of each testimonial was "Thanks Dr. Smith!" One particular patient finished his testimonial and sat smiling at the camera for a good 10 seconds. At that point you could hear the individual with the camera whispering, "Say 'Thank you Dr. Smith!' " I guess my hearing is better than his, because after a few seconds of prompting, he still remained smiling silently at the camera. Not awkward at all. . .
Finally, the time came for my massage. I was a little apprehensive about where this would take place, given the layout of the office. I have never been to a chiropractor before, so I'm not sure if this is how all their offices are laid out, but there was no privacy. There were 4 or 5 different tables and machines throughout the office where people could be adjusted, but they were all out in the open. One particular treatment area was located in the back next to the bathroom. Before my massage I went back to use the bathroom, and had to squeeze by a man strapped to some sort of vibrating machine, belly up. The bathroom door almost clipped his feet as I was opening it.
Luckily, the massages are given in a completely enclosed room with a door. It was located directly off of the main reception area, which I noticed was being set up for a class later in the evening.
The massage was great. It wasn't given by the chiropractor, but by a licensed (I'm assuming) massage therapist. The only low point was somewhere in the middle of the massage, when I heard a knock at the door. It was opened a few seconds later, and as I lay face down on the massage table with the upper half of my body exposed, I could hear people talking outside. It was the class they had been setting up for earlier. I'm not sure how many people were outside the door, and I don't know how far into the room they were able to see, but it was definitely not the most comfortable situation to be in.
The rest of the massage went by with no interruptions. As the massage therapist was leaving so I could get dressed, she warned me that there was a class sitting directly outside the door, and to open it carefully. Five minutes later, hair disheveled and completely covered in coco butter, I tried to make my escape. I'm sure they heard me coming because it took me a good minute to open the door with my greasy hand unsuccessfully trying to grip the doorknob. I was finally able to turn the darn thing, and as I opened the door I could see that there was a man sitting in a chair about 12 inches from the door. I opened it as much as I could and squeezed out, and found myself standing in the middle of a class of 15 or so people who were learning massage techniques. They all turned their attention to me as the chiropractor asked how I had enjoyed my massage. I murmured something about it being great, and made a beeline for the door. I was in such a rush to get the heck out of there that I forgot all about the tiki heads! That is until I felt their evil little eyes boring a hole into the back of my greasy head.
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